When you decide to support a loved person going through a rehabilitation program, you must be prepared for deep emotional challenges. Unfortunately, not only the addict but also the friends and family members suffer from the bad decisions taken during the acute phases of addiction. That is why professional centers offering family rehab care programs are becoming quite popular.
Such programs help family and friends of those people who are going through intervention and rehabilitation. If the addict knows that the closest people get psychological support as well, it is getting easier to recover from unhealthy habits and addictions. But even without joining such programs, there are reliable ways to support the people you care about while they recover.
This article gives guidelines about how to behave and what to say to someone in rehab, what supporting strategies to use, and how to take care of yourself as well. Rehab is not just about the addicts themselves and treating the physical symptoms of their addiction. But it is also about building the coping mechanisms and healing the relationships that were negatively affected by the destructive side effects of addiction.
How to Prepare for a Rehab – Tips for Family and Friends
The best decision is made – the person you love and support wants to change for the better. From this moment you have to be as open as possible. Honest discussions of your feelings, love, and intentions about supporting this person are necessary. Remember that most centers follow the policy of “no contact during rehab”, at least during the first weeks of adaptation and withdrawal of physical symptoms. That is why you need to tell everything that you want before the drug rehab start.
What to Say to Someone Going to Rehab?
Most experts agree that such conversations have to focus on the importance of treatment and the addict’s commitment to recovery. Also, do not forget to tell how the family and friends won’t stop to support through this life-challenging experience. Do not push or insist on something. But the recent research proves that the pre-rehabilitation talks have to set mutual expectations and goals so the addict could understand the importance of commitment to the recovery process. The message from the supporters should be very clear – we support you, we love you and we wish you well.
Avoid accusations, demands, self-pity, manipulations, gaslighting. The questions like “Will my boyfriend still love me after rehab?” or “What to do if my daughter relapse during rehab?” have to be addressed to your doctor during therapy sessions. Do not ask such questions the person who is going to change the life drastically. They can only do harm. Support and optimism are the best ways to behave.
What Can You Bring to Someone in Rehab?
Every rehab facility has a list of restricted and allowed essential things you can pack for the person going to this center. If you are not sure about this list, make sure to contact the center and ask about the allowed medicines, gadgets, books, clothes and personal items.
Also, do not forget to specify what can you take to a rehab center during visitations. Can you have a phone in rehab? Can you write/give messages or emails? Can you send gifts for birthdays or holidays? Ask the staff these questions beforehand.
If you can’t contact the rehab center, that keep in mind that most facilities allow packing such things:
- Comfortable clothes – PJs, T-Shirts, trainers, fitness wear;
- Personal hygiene items – alcohol-free shampoo, soap, wet wipes, pads, etc.;
- A paper journal with a pen for taking notes;
- Prescribed medications;
- Photos of friends and family;
Important! Always specify what to send someone in rehab. Each facility has different rules, including the list of the essentials you can take along with you.
Besides packing the bag with allowed essentials, you have to take care of any financial and legal problems. Think of such problems as health insurance, employer’s assistance, the payment plan for the rehab. Your loved person should take care of health instead of thinking about such important but stressful things.
How to Support Someone in Rehab?
Keep in mind that you have to become a reliable supported for the person who need assistance with any aspect of life. If you are not ready to take all these responsibilities, tell about your fears and inconfidence before rehab. But if you are ready, prepare to use the scientifically proven strategies for emotional and practical support.
Emotional Support
People often underestimate the importance of a reliable family member or friend who can help during tough times. Emotional support is a very powerful tool just like communication and care for people going through recovery. Gentle and open approach with encouragement do heal but you have to respect the person’s space at the same time. In other words, be there when they need do without prying too much.
If the rehab center allows phone calls and messages from relatives during the recovery process, support the person you love with regular messages “from the outer world”. What to write to someone in rehab? Carefully ask about how the person feels, the progress and future goals, talk positively about the life outside the rehab facility. Avoid any talks about past traumas, substance abuse, scandals, minor family-related problems. Your task is to keep your loved person motivated. Cheerful tone along with positive attitude during calls and message is what you need to focus on.
Do they tell you in rehab not to call your significant other? Sometime rehab facilities can limit visitations or contacts, especially during the first days. Take these rules with understanding. When the addict is exceptionally vulnerable during first therapy sessions at rehab, too much contact with close friends and relatives can be overwhelming. However, too little contact can trigger negative emotions.
The safest way here is to consult a therapist at the rehab center about the frequency and time of communication or visitations. Cooperate with the staff and practice patience to keep the positive attitude.
Practical Support
We’ve already mentioned that you have to take over such mundane responsibilities as household chores, paying bills, pet-sitting, etc. If you need to take care after underage children, make sure to consult a specialist to create the stable environment for them. Maybe it would be better to hire a babysitter or use the governmental foster care services. These are hard decisions and challenges but if you cope with them then the person who is going through rehab will be worried less.
Can You Visit Someone in Rehab – About Communications at Rehab Centers
Each rehab facility has house rules you need to obey to the letter. To create the healing environment for the addict at rehab the staff demands following the strict policies, often without exceptions unless there is a case of life and death. Usually, there are “blackout” periods when the new patients can’t communicate with anyone except staff members.
Can you call someone in rehab? Yes, you can but only after getting a permission from the personnel. Usually, this “no contact” period lasts up to a week – during heavy detox and early therapy sessions. After this period, you can contact through phone calls, letters and scheduled visits.
What you CAN say or write to the person in rehab:
- Be supportive;
- Stay positive and be cheerful;
- Focus on recovery, future goals and progress;
What you CAN’T say or write to the person in rehab:
- Avoid triggers like past drug use and traumas;
- Do not pressure to talk about the feeling if the person you love is not ready yet;
- Avoid writing or calling too often;
It is normal if a rehab’s visitation schedule includes visits once a week and every other weekend. Some facilities offer family therapy sessions during visits. It is up to you about joining such sessions. Multiple scientific researches proved that healthy communication and visits play a key role in addiction treatment.
Also, prepare for the fact that visits will be emotional – for both you and the person you visit. Stay positive and calm, do not let the tears scare away or confuse the person at rehab. Such visits have to be a safe space with open communication.
How to Behave With Someone in Rehab?
Encouragement of the Progress and Milestones
Even the smallest success is a huge step on the road to full recovery. The milestones can be different – from completing a week of sobriety until regular attending of therapy sessions. You should always acknowledge the milestones and celebrate the achievements of them. Celebrations like eating a meal together or sending a hand-written card will do just fine. Effort takes time, progress is not linear, patience is the key. Small steps can make big differences. Keep telling these words as mantra when communicating with someone in rehab.
Coping with Challenges
Unfortunately, the recovery road is never straight and smooth. Relapses, challenges, breakdowns, disappointment and burnouts – these are regular things that can happen with all the families and people who are going through rehabilitation.
This is how you can cope with these challenges:
- Accept the fact that emotional ups and downs do happen. Experiencing the range of emotions is totally normal. It is the part of progress;
- Relapses are the part of recovery and can’t be judged as a sign of failure. View relapse as another hard but important step. Stay supportive and understanding;
- Remind your loved person about the already achieved progress. Support, support and support a bit more;
Never be ashamed to ask for the professional support and help if you feel that coping with all these challenges is too much for you.
How to avoid burnouts:
- Do not forget about self-care – if you also need the support, make sure to have one;
- Stress management is easier to achieve through regular exercises, meditation, journaling and spiritual practices
- Eat and sleep regularly, follow a balanced diet and take care after mental wellbeing;
How to Prepare for Your Loved One’s Return After Rehab?
Rehab is only the first step to the successful recovery after treating physical and psychological addiction in a professional facility. Family and friends have to join their efforts to create a supportive environment at home for a person after rehab. This is how they can help:
- Remove triggers and temptations. You need to clear the house of drugs, alcohol and the items reminding about the substance abuse;
- The place of living should become a sober-friendly. During family therapy sessions you will find out how important it is to make sure the home feels safe, judgement-free and calm for a former addict;
- Emotional backup from the family members. If necessary, stay with the person after rehab in one house, even if it just for a few days;
Also, sharing the same environment during the first days can help to prevent relapse situations. What things can trigger the desire to using illegal substance again:
- Stressful locations and situations;
- People from the past who are still using drugs or alcohol;
- Social groups that approve addictions and bad health habits;
- Negative emotions from losing a job or feeling lonely;
That is why family members and friends, preferably with the help of a professional therapist during group therapy sessions, have to develop a trigger management plan. This plan needs to protect your loved one from the potential triggers and how to manage the stressful situations.
To implement these methods of coping with triggers, the person after rehab has to follow a structured daily schedule. These are routine tasks like work, regular therapy, exercise, relaxation. The support group has to encourage and show the example of running the lifestyle with healthy habits – activities like meditation and exercises, hobbies and diet.
Long-Term Support and Aftercare
Even after the successful rehabilitation, the past addiction may leave the lasting effect on relationships, create tension and trust issues. Family and friends need to understand such a risk and try to rebuild the relationships with some time and effort invested. To achieve such results you need to talk honestly, become an active listener and set healthy boundaries. Choose the respectful and non-judgement tone to build trust.
If you feel that your support is not enough or you can’t handle this challenge on your own, then use the help of local support groups. AA and NA organizations offer volunteer-based sponsorship for former addicts. Such communities can share the same experiences and insights. They won’t judge because almost all members were addicts too.
Forgiveness and patience should become the main lines of behavior. Healing takes time, relapses and setbacks may happen being the part of the recovery process. But compassion and understanding do miracles, helping to grow stronger relationships.
Conclusion
If you decide to support a loved one before, during and after rehabilitation, prepare that it won’t be an easy walk. But you can cope in a case of an open communication, sober-friendly environment, emotional support and regular group therapy sessions. The recovery requires from all the participants and supporters to be patient and understanding. Even small victories deserve celebration. Ongoing support is what helps to heal not a body but soul. Encouragement from family members and friends can help to build the long-lasting foundation for those people who struggle to overcome their addiction.
